Too Late

I watched you watch me
In a silent eye-lock
With your fidgeting hands
Tentatively reaching for
the idea I couldn’t see

I watched the colours
That flashed on your face:
Disbelief
Disgust
Disapproval
Dislike

Like a thin disease,
Like blinds shutting out the lights,
Like a haunted chasm sprung out of nowhere,
Like a freeway stretch growing longer and longer

Leaving me
With unspoken words
And my faulty instant
Damage-control plan

I watched and I stood,
An inert spectator
To the growing void
Between you and me

I watched even when
I knew it was over
Could something so precious
Be lost in an instant?
Your firm chin answers

What did I say?
What did you hear me say?
I'll take it back.
I'll withdraw it.
But I can't, can I,
Take back words
That have already
Changed our universe?

I watched “our universe”
Unbecome itself

I watched myself
Go back in time
To change a moment,
Swallow my anger,
Stomp my ego,
Not say anything,
Still have everything

I watched hope die
And knew then
That I’m all alone,
That it’s just
Too Late