The Spider and Me

Written one bored afternoon, like a lot of my poems have been. Something that may not be absolutely striking is that the rhyme scheme is monotonous throughout.

I love the animals
The animals love me
I don't harm anyone
I treat all equally
But there is one spider
As difficult as can be
He just won't come around
He's the absurdity!

Last month that I moved in
He came to me
We were introduced n' all
Over cups of tea
I saw the web he'd spun -
Brilliant architecturally
But on my peach n' yellow wall
It was plain ugly!

So I asked this spider to
Move to a tree
To which his amazing web
Would match perfectly
But this stubborn spider
Refused point-blankly
Though I employed my charms
Upon His Majesty
Though I begged n' pleaded
And lost my dignity
And all for a spider
With no capacity
To understand the nuances
Of colour harmony!

At last exasperation
Overcame me
I pulled out my rifle
And aimed precariously
A shot, I fired:
It whooshed noisily
And down came the web
Almost half-heartedly!

Yet that cheeky spider
Escaped, though barely
Never to return
To my family
But wherever he went
He bad-mouthed me
So 'Spider-shooting Mama'
Is what they all call me!