Reality Shop

Shopped till I dropped
Knowing not always whether
It answers a need or simply my ego;
The feeling is one of emptiness,
Of trying to fill that ... emptiness
With cheap substitutes:
Things I really have no desire for,
Things not to die for.

Does feigning these desires
Make me more human?
And yet they do naught
To fill that void
Deep inside: a dried spirit

Lost in my own head am I,
Swimming around with my thoughts,
And imagination
Is the order of the day:
Some live out their dreams -
I live in them.

Filled up am I, most certainly
But is this life the real living -
Hiding inside my own head?
Hiding from life?

Or perhaps it's the fear
Of contaminating that past,
Pure and true,
With the twisted perception
Of the evident.